A pregnant woman is unsure if she should cause a “fuss” as her partner is planning to go on a cruise vacation without her or their kids.
In a post on Mumsnet, the woman explained that her father-in-law is planning to treat the entire family to a cruise vacation for his girlfriend’s 70th birthday.
The woman — who has a 2-year-old with her current partner and two teenage daughters from a previous relationship — said that she recently found out that she will be unable to go on the trip because she will be six months pregnant and the cruise line does not permit passengers over 24 weeks pregnant.
The original poster (OP) said that while she was “very upset and disappointed” by the news, she at least thought that her children and partner would be able to go and enjoy the vacation together.
However, she said that her partner — whom she has been with for 10 years — informed her that he wouldn’t be taking their 2-year-old son because the toddler “would be too much of a hassle and [he] wouldn’t be able to enjoy himself and relax.”
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The OP said that her father-in-law then decided to invite several more friends, meaning that there was no longer room for her daughters on the trip.
“I know he paid for all this, so it’s his decision, but it’s still upsetting to let them down,” the OP said.
“Am I being unreasonable to kick up a fuss about this? How would other people feel?” she asked at the end of her post.
Opinions were divided over whether or not the OP had a right to feel upset about her children being excluded from a vacation that someone else was financing.
“Kick up a fuss about what? It is not your trip,” one person said.
“I don’t really blame your father-in-law,” someone else said, adding, “He can’t change the cruise line’s policy, and he wants it to be a nice event for his partner’s birthday.“
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“I think it’s a lot to have sole responsibility for three kids when on holiday — bedtimes, food, entertainment, etc. I know single parents would have to cope, but there wouldn’t be much downtime at all. I’m not sure what the solution is, though,” added another commenter.
Several other people, however, said that they thought the situation raised red flags about the OP’s partner.
“I think your partner is a k—,” said one person. “He can’t take his child because he won’t be able to ‘relax’ — what does he think you’ll be doing pregnant at home with three kids?” said one person.
“The only person you should have an issue with is your ‘partner,’ ” said another..
“You have a [partner] problem,” said a third commenter. “He clearly doesn’t want the ‘hassle’ of looking after the children, doesn’t see the older girls as truly ‘his’ despite being in their lives for a long time, and doesn’t want to have to look after a 2-year-old. Latter is perhaps understandable as that is quite a lot of work and wouldn’t make for a relaxing holiday, but not taking the girls is just mean.”
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