NEED TO KNOW
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A teen posted to Reddit asking for help with a family issue
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He said his father suddenly left his family to be with a much younger woman, but returned when things didn’t work out
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“This situation is just the most recent in a long pattern of disappointment and selfishness,” the teen wrote
A teenager is dealing with a heartbreaking decision on whether or not to forgive his father after he left their family to pursue a relationship with a much younger woman, only to later change his mind.
The user explained his family dynamic on Reddit, saying he is a 17-year-old who lives with his 13-year-old brother and their 46-year-old mother.
Last week, his 50-year-old father, whom he has always had a “rocky” relationship with, told their family “completely out of the blue that he asked my mom for a divorce because he ‘wasn’t in love with her anymore’ and had feelings for his 21-year-old coworker, Rebecca.”
“For context, she just turned 21. We would’ve literally been in high school at the same time. I was furious,” the teen explained.
He noted that his parents have been together since 2003, and despite some issues, it was “still shocking” when his father suddenly left.
Additionally, the poster said his father’s plan was “impulsive,” noting that after he left, he slept in his car in a parking lot with just “$18 in his personal bank account.”
The teen said his father quickly had a change of heart, returning the very next morning, claiming “the fog had lifted.” The father of two admitted he “made a huge mistake” and “begged” his wife to give their marriage a second chance.
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The poster said that due to “a severe case of West Nile Virus in 2021,” his father had “lasting neurological issues and personality changes,” which led his mother to forgive her husband and allow him to come home.
“I don’t buy it. I think he only came crawling back because the fantasy he built in his head wasn’t actually going to work,” the eldest son wrote, adding that his mother is the “breadwinner” of the family.
“My dad has a part time job as a pizza delivery man, however his money is only used for his stuff (cigs, gas, etc.) I think he realized he blew up his entire life for a girl half his age who didn’t actually want him, and now he’s trying to do damage control,” he continued.
The teen said his mom respects his decision to distance himself from his father until he leaves for college soon, but admits that he “feels guilty sometimes, because I can tell it hurts him, but I honestly don’t think I can forgive him. This situation is just the most recent in a long pattern of disappointment and selfishness.”
Despite his mixed emotions, commenters sided with the poster.
“He blew up your fam for someone barely legal and now wants sympathy bc the ‘trance’ wore off? actions got consequences. you’re allowed to protect your peace, even if he’s regretting his choices,” one person wrote.
“Trust is a fragile thing, once destroyed, it is almost impossible to get back,” another added. “Your father thinks he can just walk back in and have everything the way it was and that is’t going to happen anytime soon. Don’t kick yourself, you are not to blame for what happened and you are under no obligation to forgive and forget. That said, I do think your father’s bizaar behavior is due to some health issue.”
In response to concerns over his dad’s health, the poster told people in the comment section that his father “sees multiple doctors often.”
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