Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Fired Fest
Federal employees have been getting mixed messages about whether to respond to a mass email from Elon Musk, threatening to fire them if they didn’t justify their employment.
On Tuesday, Jimmy Kimmel said the nation’s civil servants were “as confused as Elon’s kids were when they realized their father named them after a phone number.”
“Elon and his musketeers — they sent an email to all federal employees ordering them to list five things they did at work last week. Trump loved this idea — he said it was ‘genius,’ and he said anyone who didn’t respond to the email would be ‘fired or semi-fired.” Which, what if that was his catchphrase on ‘The Apprentice’? ‘Meat Loaf, you’re fired. Or semi-fired.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“OK, now I understand. It’s somewhat voluntary, but if you don’t respond, he guesses you get fired. Thanks for clearing that up.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“At this point, how is anybody supposed to know what to do with all this confusing information? Forget running the government; these clowns couldn’t get 10 bridesmaids to a paint-and-sip.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“This email created chaos throughout our government. Some agencies, like the F.B.I., told their employees just to ignore it; others, like the V.A., demanded that employees respond. At H.H.S., employees were told they could respond if they wanted to but should assume that what they write will be read by malign foreign actors. What? Russell Brand’s going to get these?” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Kash Patel told the F.B.I., ‘Don’t respond to that email.’ Tulsi Gabbard said, ‘Don’t respond to that email.’ Pete Hegseth responded to that email at 2 a.m., saying, ‘U up?’” — DESI LYDIC
“And maybe the craziest part of all of it is Elon Musk has no official authority to fire anyone. He’s not an elected official — he wasn’t appointed, he wasn’t confirmed. Who knew you could fire people at a place you don’t even work? I might try it at Chipotle sometime just to see what happens.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“It’s confusing. When you walk in the White House and say ‘Who is in charge?’ everyone just shrugs like they’re working at Lids.” — JIMMY FALLON
“I think it might be time to give the planet to the apes, because we’re finished.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“The whole country is a Fyre Festival right now, and Elon Musk is soaking the mattresses.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Punchiest Punchlines (Fyre Fest: The Sequel Edition)
“Guys, eight years after the epic concert disaster that was Fyre Fest, tickets just went on sale for Fyre Fest 2. Yeah, tickets are now on sale, and some cost up to $1 million. Even the people who invested in Hawk Tuah crypto think this is a bad idea.” — JIMMY FALLON
“The disastrous music and lifestyle Fyre Festival that happened back in 2017. and was such an epic mess it inspired not one but two documentaries about what an epic mess it was, is coming back. The guy who ran it went to prison, but you know what they say: If at first you strand hundreds of people on an island with no food or water, try, try again.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Who wouldn’t want the experience of Fyre? Hey, half the state of California had the experience of fire — it wasn’t great.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“That guy, his name’s Billy McFarland — he did four years for wire fraud, for bank fraud and making false statements to law enforcement. How he’s not a part of the Trump administration already, I have no idea.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Bits Worth Watching
Taylor Tomlinson praised the viral glitter trend on Tuesday’s “After Midnight.”
What We’re Excited About on Wednesday Night
Soccer Mommy will be the musical guest on “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”
Also, Check This Out
“A Thousand Blows” is Hulu’s gritty new historical boxing drama series from Steven Knight, creator of “Peaky Blinders.”
The post Jimmy Kimmel: ‘The Whole Country Is a Fyre Festival Right Now’ appeared first on New York Times.
