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Disrupting the Workplace
I’ve been a manager of a small group in a large organization for several years. In general, my direct reports have been easy to manage; they are conscientious, competent, seasoned professionals. Among them, but not as easily managed, is a longtime employee with chronic health conditions that have gotten worse and impacted her dependability. She has personal circumstances that have added to her unreliability.
We’re an office responsible for producing analytic reports large and small. Some have hard deadlines. I prefer to assign people projects they can invest in and own. Unfortunately, we often need to change focus to respond to changing deadlines and priorities from higher-ups. I try to assign my challenging team member projects with long lead times. Even so, her unreliability means that I have needed to reassign her projects frequently in order to meet deadlines. I spend a lot more time managing work assignments as a result (or just doing the project myself). Sometimes, after I’ve reassigned one of her projects because she says she is not able to work, she shows up. I can either return a project to her, taking it back from another staff member whom I’ve had to redirect from one of their projects, or give her a new, lower-priority project.
I’m trying to figure out whether I should be changing my approach to managing people or to managing the work. Any perspective you can offer would be most welcome. I value this employee and her contributions, but she is taxing me.
— Anonymous
You ask some interesting questions — and some really complicated ones. There’s so much going on here, and I’m not sure I can address all your points in a helpful way. But here goes.
One missing piece of information is whether or not you’ve already had a conversation with this employee. Is she aware of the impact she’s been having? Even if it has come up before, I think you need to have a conversation with her about your concerns. But I would urge you to make that conversation about what you describe as her “inconsistency” — not her illness. It doesn’t sound like she’s making mistakes so much as being unable to make time for the job; in other words, when she’s actually doing her job, she’s doing it well. And you value her for it.
But before initiating that conversation, I think you need to acknowledge the somewhat loaded terms you are using to describe this worker, among them “challenging” and “unreliable.” As you point out, this employee has health problems that affect her ability to work. But the way you describe her makes it sound almost like you resent her — or perhaps don’t fully believe her. (Your reference to her showing up to work after she says she is unable to do so suggests you may not trust her.) So your own feelings toward her may be something you need to explore on your own.
That said, this is indeed a complicated situation and you clearly need help handling it. When I ran your question by the human resources executive Lisa Failla, with whom I’ve worked in the past, she wondered whether you had educated yourself with the guidelines in the Americans With Disabilities Act about making accommodations for employees who were facing illness.
“Your description of her chronic health condition becoming worse may also indicate that she could be eligible to go out on short- or long-term disability,” she said. “Your H.R. partner should handle any such conversation. As an effective and compassionate manager, it is best to provide your employee with the outside support mentioned above in order to accommodate her illness within the guidelines provided.”
You also mentioned that she has “personal circumstances that have added to her unreliability.” Without knowing what these circumstances are, Lisa said you might want to refer her to your company’s Employee Assistance Program for help. She added, “If you do not have an E.A.P., ask your H.R. person to provide a resource, perhaps through your medical plan.”
An Undermining Boss
I am about 10 years into my career and have been at my current job for two years. I am a high-performing employee, I have always received glowing reviews and I have never had an interpersonal issue with supervisors. In this job, I have a direct supervisor and a boss above her. For a reason I can’t figure out, my direct supervisor does not like me as a person. She acknowledged that my work is very good and gives me positive reviews, but I have (inadvertently!) caught her talking about me behind my back in unkind ways. This morning, I walked into the office as she was mischaracterizing to my boss an email exchange that we’d had. What she said, compared with what actually happened, confirmed what I’ve been trying to ignore for nearly a year and a half: She just does not like me and not only doesn’t give me the benefit of the doubt but willfully misconstrues our interactions to make me seem unreasonable.
Luckily, my boss seems to recognize that I am reasonable and brushes her comments off. But my boss also doesn’t address the issue with my supervisor or push back at all. I am at a loss as to how to handle this. If I talk to my boss, she will almost surely tell my supervisor about my concerns. And I fear that will only make things worse. Do I just need to continue to try to ignore my supervisor’s cattiness? Do I need to find a new job?
— Anonymous
I don’t like bullies. I really, really hate them. And I’m especially sensitive to your query, probably because of experiences I had in my early adolescence with a “mean girl” named Cheyenne who made my life a living hell for most of eighth grade.
But the thing about Cheyenne was that her bullying was overt: She had no compunction about approaching me in hallways or during physical education or during lunch and insulting me to my face (always with an audience). So even though your story may, as the kids say, “trigger” certain memories in me — I felt a similar helplessness in the face of my bully’s aggression — I have to keep in mind that the situation you describe is, in many ways, a lot more complicated.
One: The bullying you’re experiencing is more covert than overt. (And let’s be clear: It’s absolutely bullying.) It’s not just that she’s maligning you, she is also going out of her way to do so to other people.
Two: You and your bully are both adults. It’s one thing to encounter derision and toxic gossip in the context of middle school — which isn’t to excuse it — but we like to expect more of our older peers and colleagues. In fact, we should.
Three, and perhaps most importantly: This is happening in your place of work, which is to say that it’s not only directly affecting your day-to-day happiness, but possibly also your career advancement and, related, your paycheck.
Listen, It sounds like you’re ready to let go of the idea that you need to try to figure out why your manager doesn’t like you and focus your efforts on how you should deal with it. Because your boss certainly doesn’t seem to be making any strides in that regard.
I’m in favor of confrontation as a first step — probably because I haven’t always confronted bullies in my own life, and I have lived to regret it. Of course, confrontation can take a number of forms: for example, written or in person. In this case, I’m in favor of a written note (I love a paper trail) with a follow-up request for a face-to-face meeting.
A bigger question, perhaps, is whether there should be a confrontation in the first place? I went back to Lisa Failla and consulted with her again. Lisa said that, if you’re happy with your work, compensation and benefits, you should not leave your job. “Unfortunately, there are emotionally sick people in every workplace,” she said. But, she added “the good news is that you are intuitively handling it well. I would continue to build great relationships with your co-workers and other managers and continue to perform well. It sounds like your great performance is being well documented and is appreciated by others.”
Lisa suggests having a confidential conversation with an H.R. person to get some coaching. “Rather than report it as a complaint, simply share what is happening and ask for some strategies on how to best deal with it,” she told me. “In this way, you have it on the record and are showing up with integrity and as a person seeking solutions.”
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