This article is part of A Kid’s Guide to the Election, a collection of stories about the 2024 presidential election for readers ages 8 to 14, written and produced by The New York Times for Kids. This section is published in The Times’s print edition on the last Sunday of every month.
There’s one topic that Charlotte K.’s brother and dad simply cannot get along about these days: politics. Her family will sit down to dinner, someone will bring up a touchy political subject and suddenly they’re arguing. “It’s just like, ‘Oh, there they go,’” says Charlotte, 12, who’s from Hamburg, N.Y. “It makes me want to leave dinner kind of early so I can read or whatever.”
Sound familiar? Yeah, it’s pretty common. In a 2022 poll, nearly one in five American voters said disagreements about politics hurt their relationships with friends or family. And things can get even more tense during a presidential election year, when it seems like that’s all anyone’s talking about. “We take very seriously how our political decisions affect our lives,” says Elan C. Hope, a researcher who studies young people, health and politics. When people support different candidates, it can sometimes feel as if they disagree with bigger parts of one another’s lives.
To keep the peace, some families avoid political subjects entirely. Alayna W., 17, from Boise, Idaho, says her family doesn’t go near politics after years of division between her grandma (who supports Donald Trump) and her parents (who don’t). The pandemic felt like the last straw, when her family couldn’t agree on how to stay healthy. “It was weird and uncomfortable and awkward,” she says. “It was definitely a turning point in our family.”
These types of disagreements can actually make families feel less close, according to Colleen Warner, a professor of communication. You may feel powerless and disconnected from the people you love the most. But if that’s the case, there are a few things you can do to help bring everyone together again. For starters, try bringing up a political opinion you do all agree on. It sounds corny, but if you’re caught in the middle of a divided family, it can help.
Sometimes, Warner says, the best way to prevent political conversations from getting heated is to try listening and asking questions — before anyone jumps in with a counterpoint. Hannah F., 10, from Mint Hill, N.C., knew her grandparents supported Trump, unlike her parents. So Hannah asked them: Why? “I wanted to know a few reasons,” she says, and also to explain some of her own ideas. Family members won’t change their minds overnight. But asking questions helps everyone feel more respected. And by listening to other people’s ideas, you might just figure out where you stand on important issues, too.
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